Today at church we heard from a family who lost a son. They described the peace they felt at the hospital. They told of how visitors would comment on how peaceful it was.
I had flashbacks to our time with Zach in Peoria at OSF. Brian and I too experienced a peace in that place of our lives and in that environment. I would like to say it is because we were so mature that we had an eternal peace about us; but I do not believe that is true. My belief is that we felt that peace because:
1. We had to acknowledge that we had NO control in whether Zach would live or die. It was out of our hands. Once we came to that realization, we experienced a peace.
2. We had a true connection with those around us. We may not have known the names and life stories of everyone we sat next to for hours upon hours in the waiting room. But we all knew WHY we were there. We were there because someone we loved was fighting for their life in the pediatric cardiac unit. We GOT each other. There is a peace in being surrounded with people who GET you.
3. The doctors and nurses who treated Zach were brutally honest with us. He might die. He had a 50/50 chance of living. They showed compassion while sharing the information, but they held back nothing. They cared about us. They did not want us to go into this battle without the information and truth.
So, why is it so hard to find this peace like that in the world? You know me. . . I have some thoughts!
1. We don't like to acknowledge that we can't do something. We don't like to ask for help. We think that God has "bigger" things to worry about than our "little" issues. We feel that makes us weak in the eyes of the world.
2. We build walls around ourselves. We can't possibly let others see the "real us" and share in our struggles. They might not get us. We don't have a lot in common. Not even those at church.
3. Honesty? We don't much care for that do we? We say we do. But, I venture to guess we only really "like" honesty when it is something we want to hear. Do we like to hear that we are doing wrong? That we are out of accordance with God's Word?
These are things I struggle with and I bet that some of you might struggle with one or two of them also.
Like that time in the hospital...
I need to admit that I can't do it all. There are things that I am not created to do. I need to "Let it Go" as the song goes. I need to put my struggles in a box, wrap it up, and place it at the foot of the cross, and let God take it. In all honesty, I can do that. Problem is, I often grab that box back. I need to leave it there long enough for God to unwrap and begin to work in it.
I have to be transparent. I have to meet new people. I have to share my life and my experiences. Step out of my comfort zone. I have to acknowledge that by the world's standards, I might not have much in common with certain people. However, if I have Jesus in common with them, then the other worldly commonalities are secondary.
I have to embrace honesty. I have to speak honestly in the truth. I have to be willing to hear the truth with open ears. I have to share truth with love. I have to share it with compassion. I have to put my "sensitive Sally" sign down and accept the truth when it is spoken to me.
Shew, as I look back on what I wrote, it is a pretty large pill to swallow. I want to say that I will do all those this week. But, let's get real here - that ain't happening. So, I will chose one to work on this week. I will struggle. I will not have perfect peace. But, I will practice it. And as a good friend told me, "Practice does not make perfect. Practice makes permanent." That's what I want - permanent peace.
By the way - The life story we heard today was just the beginning of this family's journey. I am looking forward to hearing more from them and seeing where they are now.
