Permanent Peace

Today at church we heard from a family who lost a son.  They described the peace they felt at the hospital.  They told of how visitors would comment on how peaceful it was.

I had flashbacks to our time with Zach in Peoria at OSF.  Brian and I too experienced a peace in that place of our lives and in that environment.  I would like to say it is because we were so mature that we had an eternal peace about us; but I do not believe that is true.   My belief is that we felt that peace because:

1.  We had to acknowledge that we had NO control in whether Zach would live or die.  It was out of our hands.  Once we came to that realization, we experienced a peace.

2.  We had a true connection with those around us.  We may not have known the names and life stories of everyone we sat next to for hours upon hours in the waiting room.  But we all knew WHY we were there.  We were there because someone we loved was fighting for their life in the pediatric cardiac unit.   We GOT each other.  There is a peace in being surrounded with people who GET you.

3.  The doctors and nurses who treated Zach were brutally honest with us.  He might die.  He had a 50/50 chance of living.  They showed compassion while sharing the information, but they held back nothing.  They cared about us.  They did not want us to go into this battle without the information and truth.

So, why is it so hard to find this peace like that in the world?  You know me. . . I have some thoughts!

1.  We don't like to acknowledge that  we can't do something.  We don't like to ask for help.  We think that God has "bigger" things to worry about than our "little" issues.  We feel that makes us weak in the eyes of the world.

2.  We build walls around ourselves.  We can't possibly let others see the "real us" and share in our struggles.  They might not get us.   We don't have a lot in common.  Not even those at church.

3.  Honesty?  We don't much care for that do we?  We say we do.   But, I venture to guess we only really "like" honesty when it is something we want to hear.  Do we like to hear that we are doing wrong?  That we are out of accordance with God's Word?


These are things I struggle with and I bet that some of you might struggle with one or two of them also.

Like that time in the hospital...

I need to admit that I can't do it all.  There are things that I am not created to do.  I need to "Let it Go" as the song goes.  I need to put my struggles in a box, wrap it up, and place it at the foot of the cross, and let God take it. In all honesty, I can do that.  Problem is, I often grab that box back.  I need to leave it there long enough for God to unwrap and begin to work in it.

I have to be transparent.  I have to meet new people.  I have to share my life and my experiences.  Step out of my comfort zone.  I have to acknowledge that by the world's standards, I might not have much in common with certain people.  However,  if I have Jesus in common with them, then the other worldly commonalities are secondary.

I have to embrace honesty.  I have to speak honestly in the truth.  I have to be willing to hear the truth with open ears.    I have to share truth with  love.  I have to share it with compassion.  I  have to put my "sensitive Sally" sign down and accept the truth when it is spoken to me.

Shew, as I look back on what I wrote, it is a pretty large pill to swallow.  I want to say that I will do all those this week.  But, let's get real here - that ain't happening.  So, I will chose one to work on this week.  I will struggle.  I will not have perfect peace.  But, I will practice it.  And as a good friend told me, "Practice does not make perfect.  Practice makes permanent."  That's what I want - permanent peace.

By the way - The life story we heard today was just the beginning of this family's journey.  I am looking forward to hearing more from them and seeing where they are now.

Roller Coaster of a Weekend

We traveled to Indiana last weekend.  It was a weekend full of family and laughs.  Unfortunately, it was also the weekend of saying final farewells to my Aunt as we celebrated her life with a beautiful Celebration of Life.  

The weekend started off with Zach helping my grandpa Wellman "Live His Dream."  It is a program that the rehab facility where my grandpa is staying participates in.  Essentially, they ask the resident what a dream day would be like for them and they help make that happen.  My grandpa's dream was to spend the day with Zach in French Lick, Indiana at the various sites and golf courses.  He and Zach share a love for golf.

Headed out for the day.  At this point, I wasn't sure how this day was going to go.  It was a surprise and my grandpa was just a little overwhelmed with everything.

Getting settled and ready to roll

First stop was the West Baden Springs Hotel 

My grandpa told us all about his memories of the dome.

 Checking out the dome while Papaw fills them in on the history.

We headed to the Donald Ross Course for lunch and a time of reminiscing.  My grandpa used to play here with his friends.

A lunch at Hagens

They bought he and Zach matching golf shirts.  They are both giving us the "hurry up" look in this picture because it is actually raining and hailing behind them and it was cold!

 They also brought a cake along that read, "Have a great day Zach and Kenneth"  It had a picture of the course on it. 

My grandpa ran into a friend of my Aunts.  They were telling stories of Girl Scout camping trips.  

 Then off to the Pete Dye Course.  It was absolutely stunning.  Zach really would like to play there one of these days.  Since the green fees are $350, he may have to wait until he is paying his own green fees!

 This is one of the last pictures I snapped that day.  While I wondered at the beginning how the day would go, I knew at the end of the day it was just perfect.

Later that night, we attending my niece and nephew's pre-school program.  It was sweet.  

My nephew is "Going on A Bear Hunt!"

Conner was chilling and watching his brother

 Kacey, the sunglassed movie star, watching her big sister.

They love their Jacob!

My niece, the little girl on the left, stood just like that the entire program.  The ENTIRE program!  While they were singing and dancing, she didn't move.  I have never seen her that quiet or still.

Zach and Mamaw Burton

 My dad and Karen took Jake and Lizzie to Spring Mill for the day.

Grandpa Ellis and the kids.

Grandma and the kids at Spring Mill

Picnic at Spring Mill

Saturday morning, we said goodbye to my Aunt Sandy.  It was a beautiful celebration of life.  Everyone who spoke and performed did a great job of making it a nice tribute to her and her life.  It was hard for me.  I was not ready to say goodbye to her forever.

Afterwards, we headed to my dad's for some time together.

Zach, Issac and Jake playing some kind of ball game

My dad is regaling everyone with stories.  We laughed until we cried - literally

Lizzie wants to be just like Ivy

My brother and his beautiful family.

 My dad tries to teach Lizzie who the presidents are.  

Brian gives the group "the look"

UNO

A long and emotionally draining weekend that was full of memories and memory making opportunities.

Jacob's Room

We continue to work on finishing the basement.  Jacob's room is almost ready.  It is exciting to see it take shape.  He is ready to be there and I am ready to get rid of all the drywall dust!

Jacob and  Brian work on priming the walls

 I think this nook is probably one of my favorite parts of the basement and it happens to be in his room. Now, I am not looking forward to the "empty nest" at all.  However, I may be coveting this nook.  I can just imagine what I will do with it one of these days!

Seriously?  How did Jake get THAT dirty?

Finally. . . Nice Weather

When Zach was little, we would wait outside for his daddy to come home.  He would want him to "tro me da ball" so he could swing at it.  Brian wouldn't even have time to change before he was tossing wiffleball to him.  

Now, Lizzie and Jacob meet him when he arrives home.  Poor guy still doesn't have time to change out of his work clothes before they are begging him to throw "just a few!"

Jake does his "touchdown dance" to which Brian responds, "Seriously???"

Getting some air to snag the catch.

Lizzie has been working had on being able to hit the ball.  She hates nothing more that having to use a tee in PE.  

Easter 2014

Easter was a little different this year.  We are worshipping at a new church.  Brian's parent's couldn't make it to Illinois.  Due to these two things, some of our Easter "traditions" did not occur.  In all honesty, I was dreading it.  However, it ended up being a great weekend.  We had an invitation to join our "Mahomet Family" for lunch, but we decided to spend time with just the five of us.  I have to say, it was just what the doctor ordered.  

On Saturday, we colored Easter eggs.  

On Sunday morning, we enjoyed our Easter baskets and then headed to church.  The service was great and the message really spoke to me.  

You can dress them up . . . but kids wanna play!

 Jacob requested that we have our traditional Easter meal - ham, mashed potatoes, green beans, rolls, corn, cole slaw, deviled eggs, etc.  That is one tradition he did NOT want to miss this year.

This year, we ate our meal at our "new" old table.   This table is 134 years old.  It belonged to my great great grandmother.  She got it when she and my grandfather "went to housekeeping."  I love antiques and the stories they tell.  

We also ate on the china my mom and dad got for their wedding.  My mom gave us both the china and the table recently.  It was cool to use both of these things as part of our Easter Celebration.

                              

We ended the night with snacks, chocolate chip cookies and a family game of Qwirkle. 

Spring Break Trip to Chicago 2014

We headed to Chicago for a few days over Spring Break.  Unfortunately, Zach woke up Friday feeling terrible.  After a quick trip to Convenient Care, we headed to Walgreen's for some antibiotics for his strep.  Zach's second mama and papa invited him to stay there so Brian, Jacob, Lizzie and I could go ahead to Chicago.  We decided to do just that.  

We spent the first day at the Field Museum.  

At this exhibit, Lizzie learned about dung.  She immediately said (in a loud exasperated voice), "POOP?????  Why in the world would they put POOP in here?"  I wish it ended there, but it went on and on.  By the end of the day, she had embraced the word dung and even turned it into a verb!  

Taking a quick break 

I think our favorite exhibit was the animals.  Jacob loved this panda.  I was amazed that many of the animals are over 100 years old.  It is amazing how they can preserve them.  

Lizzie was so excited to see a "pecan."  "Look mommy!!  It's a pecan!!"  She meant peacock!

Meeting Sue

We enjoyed our day at the Field Museum and the next day shopping and playing downtown.  We missed Zach.  That poor guy - instead of getting better, he got worse and his fever kept going up!  His strep did not respond to the antibiotics and when we got home Sunday he took another trip to Convenient Care for a shot and new antibiotics.  We are so thankful for Mama and Papa G for taking care of our sick guy!