People warned me. I smiled, took their warning in stride and went on my merry way. I now readily admit that they were right - Parenting is not easy. Each milestone or activity brings a new set of twist and turns to navigate.
One of the situations is that of being a parent of a student athlete when the going gets rough. I am a yeller. I am a cheerer. I am a 'let's analyze how that went' kind of person when it comes to sports. I am slowly but surely learning that my immediate role as a parent is none of the above types of persons. My role is to be a
parent first. Not only that as a parent, but being the parent that particular child needs at that particular time.
Sure, I can cheer at games. I can yell a "good job." I can help analyze plays or putts- LATER. NOT immediately after the situation.
My kid knows he played poorly without my letting him know that. He knows how many turnovers he had. He knows how many par shots he blew. He knows. . . he doesn't need me to verify.
He doesn't need me to go over every tee shot that was great for the day. How rebounds he might have had. He doesn't need me to talk over and over about the awesome chip in.
However, he also doesn't need to be coddled. It is his sport. . . his game. . . his round. So, we don't need DQ Blizzards just because he did poorly and is grumpy. Or because he shot his best round ever. I am finally learning that what he needs is SILENCE. . . Golden Silence! A pat on the back, an I love you and then leave him alone. For a yeller/cheerer/someone who talks when there is awkward silence - this is hard.
I am trying to let him be. Let him sit in it. Let him have time to think it all through. Then, we can talk. Then we can analyze. It doesn't take long, he is always ready to talk after a short time of thinking about the day's experiences. He just needs time to process the good and/or bad and I just need to learn the fine art of being silent.
Someone get me some duct tape quick! Being silent is NOT as easy as it sounds!
