Driving Update

Zach has been driving for almost a month now.  He is doing well.  He drives me around Mahomet.  That is as far as he has gone with me.  Brian let him drive in Champaign and home on 150 several times.  He says he is ready for the interstate.  Just the thought of that causes my hair to gray!  Luckily for me, Zach does not want me to ride with him for his first interstate trip!  I gladly hand that job over to Brian!

As I said, I will leave the interstate training to Brian:

We have actually had a conversation eerily similar to the following one.  Believe it or not, I sometimes have to say GO instead of STOP!   Followed quickly by, "Slow down!"

Thus far, Zach's absolute biggest frustration with driving - tailgaters!

Lessons Taught. . .Lessons Learned

Parenting is not easy.  I think one of the hardest parts is when I look at my child and want so badly for them to learn from my lessons.  To not make the same mistakes I did.  Unfortunately, like most of us, my kids have to experience things for themselves before they see the information as valid.

I believe, however, that this past week we had a  breakthrough.  Zach has participated in activities with our church's youth group the last several years.  This year, we signed him up and we were ready to roll.  Zach went right along with the process.

One day last week, he told us he didn't really want to go.  I asked why and he kind of stuttered around. Finally, he said, "I will go.  I will just feel guilty.  I don't really have a good reason not to go."  I slammed on my inner brake  and called a "mom/dad/Zach" meeting.

Hearing him say those words impacted me because, last fall I tried to MAKE Zach try out for basketball.  I was determined he would do it.  If he couldn't give me a good reason why, then by golly he was going to try out!  Only at the last minute did I acquiesce.  I made a HUGE mistake pushing him.  I see that now.  He was devastated and felt he had disappointed me.  He felt as though he let me down.  He felt guilty.  I was basically telling him that he did not have a say over the extra curricular things in his life.   He did not feel that he could come to me.  It took some time to work through that.  I knew that this time we needed to communicate.

 We talked and realized that we had all assumed that this trip is something he would do.  We had never asked him if he wanted to go.  He had never really thought about it.  We all just assumed it was something he "did."  Once we got to that point, we discussed options.  He could go.  The pros and cons of going.  He could stay home.  The pros and cons of staying home.  He decided not to go.

However, he kept trying to make excuses - "I have basketball."  "My schedule is way to busy."  Etc.
 I was cringing.  I am a people pleaser.  I feel as though I always have to justify my decisions.  That is something I am working on.  I didn't like seeing him do the same thing.

I told him he did not have to justify his reasons.   It is ok to say, "I don't want to go."  I explained that our guilt often comes from the stretches of truth we create when trying to justify our decisions.

This week was a lesson for both us.  I had to admit - yet again - that I regretted trying to force him to try out for basketball.  I had to let go and let him make a decision.  I had to admit that I am a people pleaser and that I do things out of compulsion or guilt.  I felt empowered telling him he could say no.  I think he felt a little empowered as well.  How is he doing with that justifying thing?  Well, he is working on it and so am I.  We can work on it together.

Devotion

The kids performed for local  Bible bowl teams today.  They provided part of the devotion.  Jacob had to step up and do a different part.  I was very proud of them all!

Second Grade Music Program

Lizzie had her 2nd grade music program last night.  It was called "Move" and all the music was about moving.  They sang songs and had some cool percussion pieces too.  

 Singing, singing, singing.

 Lizzie's turn on the drums.

 Of course, we had to stop at the playground on our way out!

Ready or not. . .

Zach has his permit!  Holy Cow!  Several things are running through my mind:

1.  When did I get old enough to have a child with a permit?

2.  Who ever thought it was a good idea to put 15 year old boys behind the wheel in the first place?

3.  Maybe I should make him wait to drive with us until he has had his behind the wheel training.

4.  There really is an "imaginary brake" on the passenger side of the vehicle.

5.  My gasping does not appear to help him focus!

6.  Can they prescribe a strong enough blood pressure medicine to keep me safe during this time?

7.  I will be visiting Carol at the Hair Pin frequently to get my newly acquired gray covered.

All kidding aside (however all the above is not in jest),  I am glad he has had experience driving in southern Indiana on those long driveways and with those tractors.    He really does have a pretty good base and I am excited for this new time in his life.  

THE permit!

Ready to roll.

 Lizzie promises she will keep her mouth quiet and not comment.  This is how she did it!

Striking a funny pose to say - "See mom I did it.  We arrived now quit GASPING!"

 

5th Grade Field Trip to Springfield

I was chosen to travel to Springfield, Illinois with Jacob's class as a chaperone for his field trip.  It was an INCREDIBLE day.  I had a great group of fun loving and silly, yet respectful, boys.  The places we visited were all age appropriate and full of history.  One of my favorite parts, however, was getting to spend it with Jacob!  We both had a great day and Jacob declared at dinner that evening, "I feel like I KNOW President Lincoln personally now!"  

A few original items in the kitchen of Lincoln's home in Springfield.

The dome of the State House

 Jacob trying to figure out if that is real hair on the wax figures at the Lincoln Museum

 Lincoln's Tomb

 Lincoln's Tomb

 Jacob rubs Lincoln's nose for good luck.

Zachary's Version

This past weekend, I came across a story  Zach wrote in elementary school.  It is titled, TRUE STORIES.  In it, he gives the account of his surgery.  Now, obviously he doesn't remember it.  It was interesting to read what he thought happened during that time.  It is neat how he took all the information he had heard and seen in scrapbooks and created his story.  Here it is:

"When I was born it was scary for my parents.  I had open heart surgery.  I was transported in a helicopter from Carle to St. Francis Hospital in Peoria.  My grandma was a nurse and she helped me get strapped in the helicopter.  All my family cried and prayed for me.  I was put under a clear tent the size of about four desk put together to make a square.  There were tubes connected to my mouth.  They they put suction cups to my chest and put the wire ends to a computer.  This was to see if my heart beat was on track.  While I was in my tent my dad was playing chess with my grandpa.  While they were doing that, my mom was talking to my grandma about how sad they were both.  My uncles were reading magazines while I was in the clear tent.  I was in the hospital for 1 to 2 weeks.  My mom and dad rented a house across the street from the hospital.  They worried every night.  My mom hardly slept.  Finally I was better and went home!"

After I read it and smiled (OK, I cried too), we talked about it.  Zach was surprised to find out that some of this was not exactly the way it went down.

My mom did NOT help him get strapped into the helicopter.  She and my step-dad left for Peoria before the helicopter so they could get there sooner.

Neither he nor I are sure about what clear tent he was talking about.  The bassinet they flew him in or the "tent" that provided oxygen for him as he healed.  Either way, neither of them were as big as four square desks pushed together  :)

He was in the hospital a little longer than 1 or two weeks.  A little closer to four.

We did stay across the street in the Family House, but we did not rent the house and we had to share it with other families.

Then there were the parts that were spot on:

He flew to Peoria.

We cried and prayed

He was hooked up to LOTS of tubes and wires.

Brian and my dad DID play chess in the waiting room.  Our families did a great job of allowing us our freedom to be sad while helping us stay busy between visiting hours.

My brothers DID read magazines while they waited for the next visiting time.

We DID worry every night.

He DID get all better and came home!

What a precious story I found.  It is neatly tucked away in his box of "treasures."  I hope we can share it with his kids one of these days.